I read something about two weeks ago on one of my favorite FB pages that I follow. Shout-out to “Her View From Home,” that has stuck with me and had my wheels my turning. Shortly after reading it, my 14 year old told me that I was mean. Andddd, it begins! The questions. The doubt. The feeling that I’m failing as a mom. ALL. THE. THINGS. I went back and looked so I could link the actual post I am referring to and couldn’t find it. I even searched what I thought was the title and a million other things looking for it. Sorry, friends. However, It’s been on my heart since then to write a public apology to my teenage daughters. (& one day my son too!) Just hold out and stick with me. It’ll all make sense in the end. I promise. Or at least I hope it will. Ha! I always thought that I’d be the cool mom. Turns out not. 🤷🏼♀️ Instead, I’m THAT mom. You know the one…The mean one.
I’m sorry that I’m THAT mom who doesn’t take you at your word every single time. Yep, I want to talk to your friend’s parents. I want to confirm movie times. I want to know where you are, who you’re with, and what time you plan on being home.
I’m sorry that I’m THAT mom who gives you a curfew and ALWAYS makes you ask permission. I worry about you. I want to know that you’re safe in a world gone mad, while still allowing you to have some reasonable freedom. It’s my job to protect you – embrace that because it won’t change.
I’m sorry that I’m THAT mom who dances in the car and tries to make you laugh constantly. (And probably tries to embarrass you because it’s a right of passage!) It’s just that seeing your smile that lights up in any room is my favorite thing! And those belly laughs when I sing the wrong lyrics or don’t do the dance just right make my soul happy. In a few SHORT years, I won’t be able to hear them as often and that thoughts crushes me.
I’m sorry I’m THAT mom that annoys you because I’m constantly reminding you of assignments that are due and asking if your homework is complete. It’s just that I see your potential and I also see that sometimes you need a little push. I was a teenager once too and I know all about cutting corners and procrastinating. I want so much out of life for you. Things that will require dedication, perseverance, determination, and consistently giving your all. So I’ll push you. And then I’ll push you a little harder because those big dreams that you are dreaming, I want to see you live out.
I’m sorry that I’m THAT mom that will ask you a million questions about your boyfriend and your friends. I do it because I want you to understand that I’m here for all of it. The fights. The drama. The break-ups. The make-ups. The hard stuff. The easy stuff. The embarrassing stuff. EVERY. SINGLE. BIT of your life – I am here for it. No judgement because I’ve been there, but also I need you to understand that there will be consequences. I want you to understand that I have no problem being your shoulder or your sounding board. I want you to know that anytime you’re in a situation where you don’t feel comfortable, I will come running. I want you to understand that it just takes a phone call.
I’m sorry that I’m THAT mom who will call your friend’s parents if you get in trouble together. BOTH (or all) of you did something you weren’t supposed to and there are consequences for that. You’re in trouble, and they should be too. They may get mad at you (and me), but they will come back around. I promise. I lived this all too. I also hope that your friend’s parents would do the same for me/you. I want you to learn life lessons.
I’m sorry that I’m THAT mom that checks your phone constantly and pays for an app monthly so that I can do just that. This world is crazy and the pressures of being a teenager are so great. Especially in the age of social media influence. I need to have that EXTRA insight in your life to protect you for as long as I can.
I’m sorry that I’m THAT mom who always runs to your rescue. It doesn’t matter to me who is hurting you, making you feel uncomfortable, or making you feel inferior in any sense of the word – MOMMA IS COMING. I’m in your corner forever and a day. Nothing will ever change that.
I’m sorry that I’m THAT mom that encourages you to cultivate all relationships in your life. Except for the uncomfortable ones. I want you to know that at some point God is going to use you as a vessel in someone’s life and that’s why he placed you in their path, but I also want you to know that it’s OKAY to cut out toxic relationships. No matter who they are.
I’m sorry that I’m THAT mom that tells you NO! No, you aren’t going tonight. No, I’m not giving you money for that. No, I’m not allowing you to go spend the night over there. No, I’m not letting you stay out of school for no reason. No, I’m not letting you have a party. One day you will appreciate the structure, but for now I’ll just apologize for saying no in hopes that ONE day you will say NO. I’m hoping to teach you that just because someone really wants something doesn’t always mean that you have to say yes, especially when you want to say NO!
I’m sorry that I’m THAT mom who won’t let you stay out of school for everything. If you’re sick, yep you’re staying home – I prefer not to share germs. If you’re anxious about a test you didn’t study for – you’re going to school. Next time you’ll study. If you’re being bullied, you’re going to school! But I’m going with you because Mama Bear don’t play! (Excuse the grammar! And yes, it was on purpose!) I want you to learn that life isn’t always going to go your way, but you should still work at it. Every dang day, work at it. I want you to know that most situations are temporary.
I’m sorry that I’m THAT mom that makes you do chores before you get an allowance. I want you to understand that you have to work for things you want. Nothing is going to be given to you. I want to prepare you to leave me one day and know that you’ll be able to function on your own. You’ll be able to cook and clean. You’ll be able to do your own laundry and organize things. I want you to understand that I won’t always be here to do those tasks for you, so I’m teaching you to be independent.
I could go on and on apologizing for all the things that will annoy you or make you mad in your teenage years, but for now, that’s a good start. I’m sorry that I’m not the cool mom. My hope is that you’ll see in everything I do, I do it to better you. I pray so hard for you multiple times a day and I will never apologize for that. I want you to go farther, achieve more, be more successful, travel more, and enjoy life more than I ever have. I want you to be better spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally than I ever have been.
I want you to be YOU and to never be insecure about that. Read that again! I WANT YOU TO BE YOU AND NEVER NE INSECURE ABOUT THAT! I want you to stand up for what you believe in, even if your standing alone. I want you to be the absolute BEST version of you that you can be and I will support 100% in that. So for now, this is my public apology to you because I’m okay with being THAT mom. One day, it’ll all make sense and I pray that you’ll be THAT mom too.